I saw this on FB the other day and I really like it. Going into 2024, there are a lot of unknowns. This last year has been supremely difficult for me and our whole family as we fight every day for our daughter, who is suffering so severely. For those that don’t know, she has a hypermobility spectrum disorder and has been diagnosed recently with a mild form of Chiari malformation, tethered cord syndrome and craniocervical instability. Ironically, this all unfolded at the beginning of my own transformation story. I got better and she got sicker. Managing through my own healing while focusing on helping uncover her mysterious symptoms and declining health was a huge challenge but I vowed not to allow this crisis to be a reason not to address my own need for healing my own emergent state of unhealth, obesity and pre-diabetes. She is now bedbound because of it and sadly, it has taken a steady decline over 3 years and immense tenacity to get this diagnosis and we are now just a few weeks away from her first surgery that will have an unknown outcome.
Recently during this journey as I had reached a point without direction or answers and was desperately trying to problem solve what to do next, we encountered a re-visit with a doctor who asked, “What have you been doing these last 2 years?” Their clinic was where we started several years ago and although pivotal in the process with initial diagnosis of disorders, I always felt the “disorders” were not at the root of the problem and solutions offered that we tried made her worse over time, not better and because there didn’t seem to be much else offered, we paused working with them.
Because I was little put-off at this doctor’s insinuating tone, I gathered my exhausted body and mind and all my notes and journals and made a timeline of everything I had done each month over the last year. Looking over it all was cathartic in a way. Although our beautiful 22 year old daughter’s state is very severe and debilitated at the moment and from the outside it would appear we have not had any measure of success, it is quite the contrary. A few years ago I knew I needed a new direction. I just didn’t know what or how. On several occasions, I was stuck mentally and emotionally. It’s not a great place to be because it affects everything else in my life. Momentum is everything and sometimes just doing something can create the momentum needed, even if that something isn’t the right thing at the time. If all it does is get you moving to the next thing, then it is has its merit.
As I sit in the early morning hours writing this and reflecting on the unknowns of 2024 and what we have overcome, I have peace. Celebrating what one has overcome is important because sometimes when you hit your lowest point with something, this encouragement keeps you going. Whether you have a sick child, face bankruptcy, have 100 lbs to lose, or fight depression, you can gather strength from what you have learned and been able to endure to get this far. You can see what seemed impossible at the time didn’t crush you and you are still somehow able to fight another day. So take a moment to reflect but keep going, keep fighting, find solutions and never give up!
Success is not measured only by outcomes. If that were the case, our situation would seem like a failure. Success is measured by what you have learned. Hopefully what is learned will lead to the eventual desired outcome but what if it does not? Sometimes we have to let go of what we think that outcome looks like or should be. It may not end up that way. It may end up completely different than what we desire or expect but who do we become in the process? Do we become bitter and angry? Give up? Stuck? Perhaps we immerse ourselves in old habits that don’t serve us? It is very easy to succumb to poor decisions when supremely overwhelmed and feeling like you don’t have one ounce of strength left for good decisions but I offer you this. Do you have a good WHY? Why you need to keep going or make better choices or at least different choices? If not, get one! Answering that question keeps you moving forward.
I may not know much and I’m certainly no expert at anything but one thing I know. It is better to stay open, be flexible and willing to learn. I have learned to be ok with sacrifice and giving up things that don’t serve me and my goals – whether this is unhealthy foods, habits, people, or even something given up temporarily because of the nature of the circumstance demands it at the time (like pausing a hobby because of time constraints as a full time caregiver). The only thing that matters is to just keep moving forward. Learn. Grow and don’t be afraid! Let me say that again – Don’t be afraid! Don’t be afraid of the sacrifice, things you may have to give up or the suffering you know may come. Allow the nature of suffering to break what needs to be broken in order for new life, knowledge and resilience of spirit to emerge.
Remember how brilliant you are! Don’t focus on circumstance or how you feel. Just move through it and remember why it’s necessary. Even in the depths of despair or your most uncomfortable places, remember who you are – not who you were. Think about who you want to be. Hang on to what is possible and what you can and will do. Seek faith and love. Don’t deny pain and anger but move through it (not around it) until you have peace.
You are still here. You are created for more with something this world needs, no matter how it comes about. In the ebbs and flows and whether you are over the mountain that stood before you or staring at another one, embrace 2024 with openness and hope and as I write all this, I speak to myself – don’t be afraid of what comes. You are never alone. Choose to be an overcomer.
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